11 Beloved Nursery Rhymes That Kids Should Never Hear
On a rainy Saturday afternoon, my son and I were running around town and I could tell he was becoming more annoyed by the minute. I decided to liven things up with a sing-along. Since it was raining, I started with, what else: "It's raining, it's pouring. The old man is snoring. He went to bed with a lump on his head and didn't --" But I abruptly stopped in the middle of that verse. Wait. What? I never really thought about it before, but this dude "didn't get up in the morning." Does that mean he died?
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I quickly changed the lyric to something lame like, "He didn't want to go to work in the morning." To which my son piped, "That's not right." But I didn't want to sing about death and dying to a 4-year-old. It's just too weird. But when I really started to think about it, so many of our favorite childhood songs are totally terrifying. From death, violence, to some very strange stories about gender relations, take a look at the 11 creepiest nursery rhymes we sing to our kids. Who came up with this stuff and why do we keep signing it?
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What other nursery rhymes should be on this list? And more importantly, how should we talk to our kids about the rhymes that already exist? Let us know!
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Alouette
Alouette, gentille alouette,
Alouette, je te plumerai.
Je te plumerai la tête. Je te plumerai la tête.
Et la tête! Et la tête!
Alouette! Alouette!
A-a-a-ah.
The terrifying translation:
Lark, nice lark,
Lark, I will pluck you.
I will pluck your head. I will pluck your head.
And your head! And your head!
Lark! Lark!
O-o-o-oh.
Three Blind Mice
Three blind mice, three blind mice,
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran after the farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a thing in your life,
As three blind mice?
- I'm no fan of mice, but this is pretty violent.
Sing a Song of Sixpence
Sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of rye,
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
When the pie was opened the birds began to sing,
Oh wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the king?
The king was in his counting house counting out his money,
The queen was in the parlour eating bread and honey
The maid was in the garden hanging out the clothes,
When down came a blackbird and pecked off her nose!
- Snapped off her nose? Who wrote this -- Alfred Hitchcock?
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Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth without any bread
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.
- Jeez. Why did she beat her hungry children? Talk about Mommy Dearest.
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