16 Things Middle & High School Teachers Wish Moms Knew About How To Help Kids Succeed

"I've been teaching high school for 23 years and over the last 10 years I've really seen a huge increase in how tired my students are. So many of them seem so sleep deprived and I think phones and parents getting lax on having bedtimes is to blame. Please, please, please make them put their phones away and get at least eight hours of sleep a night. Their learning really suffers when they are tired and a room full of exhausted teenagers is no fun for anyone. The social drama also gets worse when kids are texting each other all night long, too." — Beth D., HS English, St. Paul, Minnesota

"This might be controversial for parents who are trying to hold off on the tech stuff, but middle schoolers really need a phone. We have a handful of kids in each grade that don't have one yet and they really struggle with feeling left out and not being able to socialize with friends the way that most kids do." — Jessica E., sixth grade math, Tucson, Arizona

"I've been a high school counselor for over 30 years. I wish I could tell parents to calm down about college admissions! I'll tell you a secret: I've never had a single student (not one!) who wanted to go to college who couldn't get admitted. My straight-A kids get admitted. My all C students get admitted. There are so many choices and lots of school that admit all their applicants. I always have a few students who go to the Harvards or Stanfords every year. I also always have a big chunk that go to the local university. When they come back to see me, they are all happy with their choices." — Grace T., high school counselor, Lansing, Michigan

"As a sixth grade teacher, I beg parents: please make sure your kids are showering and putting on deodorant every day before school! Some kids aren't quite in that habit yet and it can be easy to turn into the stinky kid in class after PE or lunch. Middle school is tough for the stinky kid. Teaching a class full of stinky kids makes my eyes water!" — Greg S., sixth grade Spanish, El Paso, Texas

"As a middle school teacher, I've seen a lot of girls having to deal with getting their first period at school, which can be scary and upsetting sometimes. A few years ago, a mom shared that she was sending her daughter with a period kit in her backpack and I just thought that was so smart! It was a little makeup bag with a change of underwear, some wet wipes, some pads, some pain meds for cramps, and I think a piece of chocolate. I think all moms should send a kit in their daughter's bag so she's able to feel like she can handle it if she gets her period at school." — Kasey U., seventh grade social studies, Santa Fe, New Mexico

"Middle school usually means not having reading logs anymore. Which many parents are happy about! But I hope parents keep encouraging their bigger kids to keep reading for fun and pleasure. The increased homework load can make them feel like they might have less time, but reading stuff that isn't assigned or for homework is really important!" — Elizabeth R., librarian, San Diego, California

"I'm 40, so I'm the same age as a lot of the parents of my students. Sometimes I think that a lot of them don't realize how much things have changed since back in our day. One big thing is that kids are so much more open about questioning their gender identity or sexual orientation. I have multiple kids in every class who identify as LGBT. So parents need to realize that if their kid isn't out, they'll for sure know someone who is and it really isn't a scandal. At least in our little liberal bubble anyways!" — Carole M., eighth grade math, Mendota Heights, Minnesota

"Parents sometimes want their kids to already have a plan for what they want to major in when they get to college or what they'll want to do career-wise before they are even done with high school. It's totally normal for them to not have any idea yet! If they want to sign up for tech class for an elective one year and fine arts the next year and something totally different after that, cool! Let them use electives to explore." — Kinsley S., 10th grade English, Lincoln, Nebraska

"As a parent and an adult, I know that almost nobody ends up marrying or even really remembering their middle school crushes. As a teacher, though, I know that kids have really big feelings and those crushes can feel so intense. I think parents should try to remember to not tease kids too much about having a boyfriend or a girlfriend or to minimize their first experience with heartbreak. And, yes, I do get a lot of essays about this during personal narrative week!" — Melanie C., seventh grade English, Toledo, Ohio

"Yes, we know that the all the tech stuff gets confusing with all the different log-ins and different sites. Please figure out a way to keep track of all the user names and log-ins! Nothing slows things down in class or for homework when a kid can't get into the site they need to use to post an assignment." — Kelly S., sixth grade math, Des Moines, Iowa

"I've taught elementary school and middle school. One thing I've noticed is that grade school parents usually have a pretty good sense of who their kids are friends with and middle school parents don't always seem to know as much. A lot of your kid's experience in middle school will be shaped by who they are friends with, so try to keep getting to know the other kids and parents, too." — Lauren W., sixth grade Spanish, St. Paul, Minnesota

"I don't know if it was because of the pandemic and distance learning, but a lot of my freshman last year really struggled with getting organized and keeping track of multiple assignments due in multiple classes. Parents should be pro-active about getting their kids used to having a planner or using a calendar." — Matt C., ninth and 10th grade history, Washington, DC

"As a parent, I know the teenage mood swings can be crazy making. As a teacher and a counselor, I know that the mood swings are super normal and developmentally appropriate (even if it doesn't make them less annoying when my own kids were doing it!). Be gentle, be present, and don't worry that they are going to flunk out of middle school because they fight with you about homework for no good reason." — Beth T., sixth to eighth grade religious studies, Ann Arbor, Michigan

"Parents often feel like they are out of their depth when it comes to help kids with math after, like, fifth grade. But here's my tip: You can keep helping them. There are so many good videos on YouTube that break down math concepts in ways that are easy to understand, even if you haven't been in a math class in 30 years. I like Khan Academy a lot." — Jessica G., high school math, Trenton, New Jersey

"I swear, half of my students want to be influencers and the other half want to be streamers on YouTube or Discord. I feel like some of them don't feel like they have to actually learn in high school because they are just marking time to graduate and become famous online. Please help them stay realistic that they may actually need to get a non-famous job someday that might required them to actually have some practical skills." — Pamela G., eighth grade science, Brentwood, Tennessee

"I wish parents knew that the things they worry about the most are true sometimes in middle school. They should prepare their kids for the fact that middle schoolers do have access to porn and some are smoking and doing other destructive stuff. But they should also know that every single day I see kids who are kind, smart, empathetic, and really on the right track. The highs and lows are real. Talk to kids about how to navigate all of it!" — Joanne I., eighth grade English, St. Louis, Missouri