12 Terrible Ways to Congratulate a Woman on Her Pregnancy

If you're pregnant, you will no doubt be showered with congratulations, some of which may arrive in the form of funny greeting cards... at least, they're "funny" from the sender's point of view. Just be warned: the things that compel your childless friends into hysterics -- the horrific pain of childbirth, the fact that they can get drunk and you can't -- may not be for the faint of heart.

Just so you're prepared for the unwise wisecracks that may be slung your way, here are a few of the more offensive pregnancy congratulations cards on the market. We hope your friends are smart enough to steer clear, or that your sense of humor is more generous than the size of your belly.

Colorful language alert on #3! How would you react if you got a card like that?

Image via Etsy

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sewdandee/Etsy

Congrats and Goodbye

Well, at least now you know who to strike off the babysitting list.

2/12

someecards

Depressing!

A double-whammy knock on your weight and your mental health: with friends like these, who needs enemies?

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JessicaSweets/Etsy

Hey, Who?

Ah, maybe this is where that whole whore/Madonna thing comes into play? No?

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someecards

Mood Killer

And guess who just plunged you deep into a horrible mood? It's not the hormones making you cry ...

More from The Stir: 10 LOL-Inducing Pregnancy Congratulations Cards (PHOTOS)

Talk to moms about mom stuff. And make money doing it.

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Etsy

Good News For Your...Liver

Who doesn't love being called an alcoholic?

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someecards

We'll Drink, You Drive!

Because after all, isn't it every pregnant woman's dream to be driving around while their best friend hangs out the window of the car flashing her boobies at the guys in the next lane at the stoplight?