I'm a Child Behavior Specialist — If You Want Your Kids to Listen, Stop Doing This 1 Thing

We're moms, and we're pretty honest around here. We will never tell you that we are perfect parents or don't ever lose our patience occasionally. But when we do, we often feel pretty guilty about it. If we're being really honest, seeing our kids cry when we yell makes us cry, too. We feel like we need to do better sometimes.

Thank goodness for us, plenty of moms just like us have been through it and have learned some effective ways to deal with frustrating situations with kids. TikToker Samantha Day, a behavioral therapist and sleep expert who posts as @happydaysrestednights, says that if we want our kids to listen, we need to whisper, not yell. It may sound crazy, but Day swears by it.

Kids don't listen when we yell.

Day explains in a viral TikTok video something that we all know: Our kids don't really respond to yelling.

"No matter what we say, or how many times we say it, or how mad we get, they're not listening," she shares.

She says kids don't listen because they have gotten into a "behavioral routine" where parents are just "white noise" and they don't have to listen to us at all. So, quite simply, they don't.

Day says there is only one way to get out of this routine.

Parents must devise a new routine if they want their kids to respond. She says parents need to start whispering to their kids instead of yelling.

"I know it sounds crazy," she says, "but if your child is used to you yelling, and yelling, and yelling the demands, and all of a sudden, the next time a demand is needed, you get to their level, look at their eyes and whisper your expectation, it will grab their attention."

We are definitely listening.

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Not everyone thinks that Day's whispering idea is a good one.

There is the camp that thinks kids will only listen to yelling or need to be physically punished.

One man wrote, "No it's because you don't know how to crack that a-- they don't fear punishment because you are no authority to them your tactics will work once or tw."

Others think parents need to be more direct.

"Don't yell & don't whisper. Teach them that after that 1st asked there will be a consequence coming if they don't do what is asked," someone suggested.

"Girl bye I'd start to whisper and my kids will probably laugh at me lol but I'll give it try anyway," another person wrote.

Some parents have tried this technique, but it didn't work for their kids.

All families are different, and not every child reacts to the whisper method.

One mom recalled, "Mine laughed in my face. What do I do next ? 🥴"

Another agreed, writing, "tried it.... doesn't work 😕 now what??"

"I've tried the whispering and it doesn't work they still don't care my kids just run away from me when i get on their level," someone else commented.

Other parents think it is a great idea.

A woman who was yelled at wrote about her trauma: "As an adult who got yelled at as a kid, I won't listen If you yell at me now. They think yelling helps and it doesn't."

Some have had success not yelling at home.

"I was in this rut. I started lowering my voice. It took half the year, but no one in the house yells anymore!! It's bliss!" the person wrote.

Another person agreed, commenting, "stopped yelling treat them and show them respect."

Day's message was just what one mom needed.

"I'm in tears!! you don't know how bad I needed to hear this...thank you! I'm trying this ♡," her comment reads.