Pumping Moms Learn Office Has 'Breast Milk Thief' Who's Stealing Swigs From Lactation Room

As the letter writer explained to the Dear Prudence advice column, her company has two lactation rooms that she shares with several other women who are nursing and “[I] store my milk in the minifridge there during the day.”

“A while back I noticed that the milk I pumped and recorded didn’t add up at the end of the day by roughly an ounce,” she explained. “It happened a total of three times over about two months.”

She also had the “same experience and thought she was going crazy too.”

“We went to HR, which took our complaint very seriously, and the other women pumping verified they had similar experiences,” she recalled.

“HR also started monitoring the room and discovered a man trying to get in (but he couldn’t because he didn’t have the right keycard),” she continued. “They questioned him but couldn’t pin anything on him.”

“I am struggling not to be creeped out that some weirdo was stealing milk I pumped for my baby for who knows for how long,” she admitted. The HR department can’t tell the LW and the other women who it was and they can’t punish the man because they didn’t catch him red-handed.

“The room feels secure, but I’m struggling to relax enough to pump effectively, as he’s probably still nearby. (There are around 700 people working here.),” she wrote. “How do I get over it, knowing he still works here and I may never know who he is?”

via GIPHY

"This constitute gender/sex based harassment because the culprit was attempting to breaking into a lactation room," one commenter wrote. "Get the other nursing moms together and tell them that the must take it more seriously and take significant punitive action. Also, I would consult both corporate's legal counsel and I would consider speaking (if it's just one discussion) to an employment lawyer with the other women. Find out what options you have. If a guy is breaking into a lactation room and stealing breast milk, who knows what else he is doing that has not come to light or is not being taken seriously by your employer."

"The LW is preserverating on feeling violated and the lack of punishment to whoever did it," another commenter added. "If the workplace wanted to punish the violator they would have set things up to catch him in the act. They did the thing that was easier / cheaper, which is prevent the theft in the future. Unfortunately, no, you aren't going to be able to fire someone for scanning their keycard / jiggling a door handle on a room they don't belong in, because that might not even be the perpetrator."

While a third commenter took a more ahem pragmatic approach: "If you have a food thief at your office, then just keep your lunch and snacks in an insulated bag at your desk," they wrote. "Same for breast milk. Just remove the opportunity for theft."

“This is so unsettling — of course you’re having a hard time relaxing,” he wrote. “It’s very difficult to accidentally take breast milk that doesn’t belong to you, and you know that you’re likely working in the same building with the man who has repeatedly stolen yours.”

Lavery was skeptical that the LW’s HR team couldn’t push a little bit harder when it comes to penalizing the man they caught trying to enter the lactation room.

“Presumably those rooms are labeled from the outside, and anyone who’s not either using them to pump breast milk or required to clean the rooms has no reason to be there,” he wrote. “If the other new mothers are also having a hard time feeling comfortable pumping in the workplace, it might be worth bringing this back up with HR, if only for your own peace of mind.”

“In the meantime, buy a cheap combination lock for the minifridge and share the code with your fellow new mothers,” he added. “It’s a $5 investment that might help you feel more secure.”