Husband's BFF Accuses Wife of 'Going Through the Change' So She Bans Him From Their Home

"Matt was over at our house having some beers with SO. I had been out all day with our oldest child and got home in the evening," she explained. "I cheerfully said hello and had a drink with them while I put our shopping away and got our kids sorted for bed while occasionally chit chatting with the guys. I asked SO to turn down the music as the kids were going to sleep. Matt started chirping me to SO, saying 'oh fun’s over I guess' and the like. He made several other rude comments including asking me if I was 'going through the change' when I mentioned that it was warm in the house."

"The final straw was when I was laying down with my daughter, and I overheard Matt say to SO 'I guess I can see now why you’re not allowed to come out and hang with us anymore, dude,'” she overheard. "Again, radio silence from SO, I was livid. I came downstairs and said 'that’s more than enough, the first five comments weren’t funny either.' I went back upstairs til he left."

"Tons of swearwords and I wasn’t quiet about it," she noted. "Matt was on the porch waiting for S.O. to bring him something and heard everything. He sputtered out a lame apology and then left in a hurry. To make matters worse, about a week later the group got together, where Matt called S.O. out in front of everybody because of how I treated him, painted a picture of me being a crazy wife and told my husband that he only apologized because 'they’re boys.' S.O., in his infinite wisdom, came home and told me this."

"I have never stopped SO or given him grief when he visits with Matt," she said. "I just ask that he keep it away from me. Things came to a head about a week ago, S.O. told me that Matt was coming over to apologize, at S.O.’s direction. The reason for this, was not that Matt had some great epiphany, but that SO wants to start having Matt over again. Basically I’d be accepting a second fake apology so that the boys can play at my house again too. Barf. SO has asked for a compromise, that he’d only have Matt over when I’m not home. This is a concession I don’t feel ready to make. After that night, he never once told Matt that his behaviour was unacceptable. I don’t think I should have to allow this person inside of my home, ever. I have taken a hard line on this."

"You need to have a sit down conversation with your husband where you bring up each thing Matt said to you and get an answer from him as to why you deserved each comment," advised one Redditor. "And then ask why he’s ok with the comments you overheard and what he said to their friends. Don’t let him pretend like he’s not ok with what Matt has been saying because if he wasn’t just fine with it he wouldn’t still be hanging out with Matt."

And urged her to maybe consider asking her husband to do some deep self-reflection.

"The guy doesn’t respect you or your family one bit, he just wants a bachelor friend and needs to find one instead of trying to turn your husband back into one," another noted. "Your SO needs to grow some balls and respect for you. While he may never speak to you that way, allowing his friends to do so is awful and unacceptable. He didn’t demand him stop making comments, or to apologize to you right then, he only wanted the apology after they wanted to meet at your house again. I’d suggest couples therapy to be honest because that’s a big moral thing to not agree on."