Mom of 4 Sells $3M Home to 'Favorite' for $1M & Doesn't Get Why Other Children Are Pissed
Relationships can be tricky, especially when it comes to having one with adult children. The relationship has to shift from parent/kid to adults, and it can come with growing pains. Add in complicated feelings like favoritism, and those feelings can get murky for some families.
That’s what recently happened to one mom (OP) who has four adult children. She thought she was doing right by finding a solution for her oldest son and his family but didn’t anticipate – or didn’t care – that this decision would have a ripple effect on her other three adult kids.
OP hoped to get some insight on an issue that has her adult daughter upset with her.
She asked Reddit after giving the details of why she’s upset.
In a post to Reddit’s AITA community, OP explained the people in her family, which is relevant. “My husband and I have 4 kids, Henry (35m), Lisa (33f), Elizabeth (30f), and Shawn (28m),” she explained.
“We bought a 6 bed/7 bath house for next to nothing before Henry was born,” she added.
That home has skyrocketed in value but they no longer need the space. “Now that all of our kids have moved out, we decided to sell our house and buy a condo on the beach.”
Two of their adult kids, Henry and Lisa, live near OP and her husband.
According to her, she has a “good relationship with both of them,” admitting, though, that they’re “closer with Henry.” He and his wife, Abigail, “have us over for brunch every Sunday, they come over with their kids often, and we would go on vacations together before 2020.”
She’s not as close with Lisa. “Lisa and I talk on the phone maybe once a week and she comes over/invites us over maybe twice a month.”
Henry and Abigail live in a two-bedroom home, and Abigail found out she’s pregnant.
“They're looking for something bigger” in a home, OP shared. “They asked us to help them with house hunting, but housing prices have drastically increased since we bought our house and they wouldn't be able to afford anything more than 3 bedrooms, even though they both have good jobs.”
So OP and her husband came up with a plan – to offer their home. “We offered to sell them our house for the price of the house they were going to buy,” OP explained, “and they were elated.”
They went through the proper channels. “We drew up a contract and have a payment plan in place,” OP wrote. “We have enough money from the sale to buy the condo we were looking at.”
Recently, OP was speaking to her daughter and casually talked about the home sale.
“Lisa and I were talking today and she asked how selling the house is going,” OP explained. “And I told her that we're selling it to Henry and Abigail.”
Right then and there, Lisa was mad. “She was enraged when I told her and said that we should've offered to sell our house to her too since she's looking for a bigger place too,” OP recalled.
OP explained that she tried to justify why it was offered to Henry.
“I told her that Henry and Abigail need the space more because they have kids and she's single and childless,” she shared. “Then she started to yell at me for ‘discriminating against her’ because she's single and childless.”
In the comments, OP explained the “discount” she had given to her son for the house. “We sold it to him for around $1M but it's worth around $3M,” she explained.
That is a WHOLE LOT OF MONEY.
OP turned it to Reddit, wanting to know if she’s in the wrong.
“You are essentially giving a significant amount of money to one child and telling the other children to suck it up,” one person pointed out. “It’s your money and you can do what you want with it but your kids have every right to feel slighted.”
“Keep in mind that you didn't just ‘take less’ for the sale of your home,” another Redditor stated. “That discount was actually a direct and immediate transfer of wealth to your favored child. That equity is his. He could sell the house today and pocket that discount right now.”
“You are giving your son a 2 million dollar gift while saying f--- you to your 3 other kids,” someone else wrote. “Don't be surprised when this gets out to all of them that they take several steps back cause it's clear as day you have a favorite.”
“That is wild favouritism that is going to allow your son to have a lot of equity he didn’t have to work or pay for giving them a huge boost in the future,” wrote another person.
We can understand why the other adult kids might be upset. Yes, it’s the parents’ home and they can do whatever they want with it. But dang – favoritism hurts.
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