Parenting

Mom-Tested Tips for Ending Homework Battles

Wendy Robinson

Back-to-school season means a return to making lunches, signing field trip permission slips, planning for 127 different spirit day outfits, and having to face the prospect of taming the homework beast once again. Although some experts think homework shouldn't exist at all, the truth is that most kids will face reading logs, worksheets, and book reports at some point in the near future. For some kids (and their VERY lucky parents), getting homework done is a "no drama for their mama" situation.

For other kids, on the other hand, the struggle is all too real.

There are lots of reasons homework can become a battle, so we are super grateful for the advice of other moms who've figured out how to end those fights before they start. Read on for some genius tips, including knowing when to call it quits and when to get some help.

More from CafeMom: Utah Middle School Faces Backlash Over Forcing Kids To Eat Bugs for Assignment

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kid playing on tablet
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Different Kids, Different Needs

"My best advice is to remember what works for one kid might not work for the other. My son has always wanted to come home and do homework right away so he can get it over with and have the rest of the day to play. I learned the hard way that it is MELTDOWN CITY if my daughter doesn’t get a snack and some play time before she has to do homework. Set them up for success by figuring out what time of the afternoon/evening is best for them." – Martha D., Iowa

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Homework
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Get Tested

"Homework was so awful with my son. Like, it was taking him almost two hours to do basically two 3rd grade workbook pages and 20 minutes of reading and I was yelling, he was crying. It felt like ‘wait, this shouldn’t be so hard’ and that was accurate.

"The homework challenge was the thing that kind of clued us in that there was something more going on. He eventually got diagnosed with a learning difference and ADHD, so I think my advice is to ask for help if the level of homework battle is just beyond normal." – Lara R., Colorado

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homework
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Make a Cozy Space

"I made a little homework nook in our kitchen with all the supplies they might need, comfortable chairs, and some snacks that they can help themselves to. I feel like it helps to have a welcoming space, and I usually make dinner when they are doing homework, so I can get that done but still be close by if they need help." – Jenny N., California

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child on tablet
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Watch the Screens

"Ugh. My kid’s school has them do homework on their school iPads, which I HATE. Last year it was taking my 2nd grade son forever to get his homework done and staying up too late, not getting chores done because ‘I still have homework, Mom!’.

"I eventually clued in to the fact that he was only spending like 40 minutes on homework and the rest of the time was screwing around on the iPad. Now he has to do his homework in the dining room, so I can see that he’s actually doing it. He gets done in less than an hour now." – KayCee C., Minnesota

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Healthy Lunchbox Snacks That Take Zero Time For Back-to-School
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Do the Hardest Thing First

"My suggestion is sort of basic, but it works for us: do the least fun/hardest thing first. Have a snack, do something relaxing, and then tackle the hard thing first when the brain is fresher. A lot less of battle when the worst is out of the way first." – Annie P., Arizona

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Reading To and With Kids Positively Impacts Their Brains
Twenty20

Ditch the Log

"Can we just, as parents, band together and put an end to freaking reading logs? For whatever reason, all of our homework battles were around reading logs. As someone who loves reading, I hated seeing how much having to log it sucked the joy out of reading for my kids. So I just told my kids we’ll skip them.

They still read every day but not having to log it took the pressure off. It’s second grade! Who cares if they don’t turn in a reading log! Let that stuff go!" – Sasha W., Washington

More from CafeMom: Mom Puts Entire Family on 'Screen Detox' & Daughter Has Already Jumped 5 Reading Levels

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woman sad phone
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No Screens

"I’m strict about screen time (even for my high school kids) and our rule is simple: no screens until homework is done. We’ve done this since day one of having homework and the kids just know that we don’t budge on it. Consistency of expectations is the key!” – Laura W., Michigan

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Kid playing with Legos
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Homework Isn't Everything

"One of the things that helps our family is having a clear sense of how important homework is to us. The truth is that, with kids who are still in elementary school, it isn’t that important to us. Outside playtime, doing Legos, having fun with friends is more important to their development than homework is. So, I make it optional: they can do it when they want, if they want." – Blake E., Colorado

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girl eating snacks
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Always Start With a Snack

"My parenting lightbulb moment was realizing that fully 90% of my kid's post-school meltdowns (including homework ones) were because she was STARVING after school. I've started packing car snacks for her to eat on the way home and it makes everything easier once we get there." – Jamie J., Arizona

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girls soccer
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Be Realistic About Time

"Sometimes you have to give your kids permission to skip homework. Like, for us we are crazy busy on Wednesdays. We have soccer and church and there's just not time to do it. If I try to rush my 8 and 10 year olds to get homework done, everyone just gets stressed and cranky. I told their teachers that we just don't do homework on Wednesdays and they were fine with it. Saved so many tears!" - Melody D., Minnesota

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woman with planner
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Practice With a Planner

"Every Sunday, my son (he's 16) and I sit down and do his planner. He needs that extra support to help figure out how to break down doing bigger projects and how far in advance to start studying. Remember that teenage brains aren't fully developed! They don't just automatically know how to do tasks like this! Help them build the habit now so they are ready to do on their own in college." – Amy S., California

More from CafeMom: 5 Essential Conversations Moms Need To Have With Their Teens

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teacher in classroom
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Ask the Teacher

"When my first kid started getting homework, we were struggling. It was taking him at least two hours to get through all of it. In 1st grade! Of course there were awful meltdowns. I just assumed that was normal until I mentioned it to another mom and she was like 'uh, it should be taking like 15 minutes ..'

"I finally talked to his teacher and she confirmed that she'd never want him to be spending two hours a day on homework. We figured out some strategies around it and it got better. My advice: talk to the teacher if every home sesh is a struggle or if it is taking hours a day." – Kelly C., Indiana

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dad and daughter
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Tag Out

"First, unless you are a single mom, don't act like a single mom! Dads need to help with the homework BS too! When we are gearing up for a homework fight, sometimes it's best if I tag out and he takes over. Some fresh parenting energy can help." – Olivia T., Rhode Island

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mom and daughter reading
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Make Reading Fun

"For early grades, the bulk of their homework time is probably going to be reading, so finding ways to make that fun is clutch. We take reading outside or in the hammock, or even at a park just to mix it up." – Melissa H., Texas

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Boy does homework
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Set a Timer

"With my ADHD kid, we do the 20-10-20 method and it helps reduce the tension a lot. He has to do 20 minutes of homework, gets a 10 minute break, and then another 20 minutes. We use a timer and he knows he can do whatever he needs to do in those 10 minutes. We say 'Anyone can do anything for 20 minutes' and I think that's true!" – Alice S., Minnesota

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