My 18-Year-Old Thinks I'm 'Stealing' Her Inheritance But I Don't Think She Should Have It

Losing a spouse or a child are among the greatest heartaches a person can endure. But losing both simultaneously is a devastation that seems almost incomprehensible. Trying to come back from that kind of tragedy would be difficult for anyone, but things can become even worse when financial difficulties come into play.

Sadly, a family is going through that pain right now, and they are having a tough time moving forward. A woman lost both her husband and son, but she and her teen daughter still have each other. The pair were struggling financially and emotionally, but a stroke of fortune came their way through a life insurance policy. The mother posted in Reddit's AITA forum to ask whether she handled the money appropriately after her husband's death. She got lots of opinions, but they weren't what she hoped for.

Her husband and son died suddenly.

Just three days after her daughter Emily's 18th birthday, tragedy struck the family. The original poster's husband, Jeff, 55, and son, Dylan, 21, died. This left a giant hole in their hearts. Everyone processes grief differently, and Emily's not doing well.

"She has been lashing out and running away for days with no contact," OP explained. "She has no job, sleeps all day and doesn't help me with anything. I try my best to get her to therapy or something, but she just wont go and wants to be left alone."

The mom works two jobs to make ends meet. Between Emily and work pressure, she has not had a chance to grieve.

The family was always lower income.

According to OP, the family never had much money until her husband's surprise insurance policy came through, and now they have a bit of financial peace.

As soon as the money came in, Emily wanted her share. She knew her father put her in his will, but OP doesn't feel comfortable giving her any of the money. She's afraid Emily is emotionally unstable and will be irresponsible with it. Well, Emily didn't like that at all and threatened to get a lawyer.

"She told my SIL (48f) who texted me and said that I'm 'stealing' Emily's money and that she's 18 I can't control her anymore. If my daughter was in good health, I would give her the money. But I am worried she will be reckless," OP wrote.

Does she have the right to keep the cash, or is she really stealing from her daughter?

Talk to moms about mom stuff. And make money doing it.

It's not OP's money.

Redditors were quick to tell OP that she is asking for legal trouble. Emily isn't a kid, she is 18. Whether or not she is a responsible adult isn't really a factor when it comes to the law. The money is rightly hers, and some say the mom needs to fork it over.

"YTA - she is an adult, entitled to her money," someone wrote. "And you have no right to keep it from her. And she's unwell because she's grieving! It is completely reasonable to be a wreck. February is so recent. I'm so sorry for both of your losses."

"Sorry, YTA," another person commented. "Legally you do need to hand over the money. BUT if you are concerned, then help her. Give her contacts and resources, let her know you weren't doing this to hurt her. Ask her to come to you for advice. And also, you guys both should get some therapy. You both lost family and are grieving. Be there for her, but take some steps back and let her start making decisions now that she's an adult."

Some people hope Emily goes after her mom hard.

"YTA big time," a comment reads. "I hope your daughter does get a lawyer and gets what she's entitled to. She's 18. She's legally entitled to that money whether or not you think she's mentally well. You're only causing harm to your relationship with your grieving daughter."

Um, OP, are you messing around here?

Some Redditors think OP might be dabbling in some illegal activities, which would make this whole thing way worse.

"YTA because your story is fishy," a Redditor pointed out. "A life insurance payout doesn't just show up 'unexpectedly'. Beneficiaries or their representatives provide the death certificate to the life insurance company and then they pay out within the bounds of the policy. It would also not be part of any will. You would also not receive your daughter's life insurance payout as she is an adult beneficiary. Unless you knowingly committed fraud."

Then someone else had an interesting and totally valid question: "YTA and something doesn't make sense. If she is an adult beneficiary, the insurance company should have issued a check directly to her. Did you steal her check?? It's already illegal to withhold her money but did you also commit bank fraud?"

Insurance fraud is a big deal. "It isn't your money and you have no legal right to it," one Redditor noted. "Give it to your daughter or go to jail for fraud. Choice is yours. Where do you want to sleep for the next 5 to 10 years?"

Sorry OP, things didn't go the way you expected. Did they?

Even though OP thought Redditors would be on her side, they definitely were not. Jeff left the money to Emily, and that's that. As an adult, the money is rightfully hers, and you can do nothing about it. Yes, she might blow the whole thing. While that might be hard to watch, OP, you have to let her make her own choices. If that means she ends up broke, that's on her. You have no right to stop her.