My Wife Dumped 2 Toddlers on Me When I Had the Flu & Then Got Mad When I Decided To Leave

OP and his wife have been sick for 10 days and are just starting to feel better. His wife had the worst of it, so he has had to be the point person for everything to do with their daughter.

"I've been tagged in to do all chores, childcare and cooking while she's tried to get as much rest as possible," he explained. "This has now trickled into a week I booked off work on holiday, which doesn't bother me in itself, because I'd rather make sure they were both ok. I am however, starting to feel really run down myself now. I'm tired, I've had limited opportunity to rest and catch up on sleep, and I'm sore."

OP had been up since 6:30 a.m. with their daughter when his wife appeared around 9:15 a.m., saying she was feeling better. He was thrilled and thought that she would be able to jump in and help so he could get some rest.

"She said that what she was ACTUALLY thinking, was inviting SILs youngest round for a playdate, to keep our daughter occupied. For reference, she is 3," he wrote. "This isn't an uncommon thing to happen — SIL often brings her kids to us (and for reasons I still don't understand, our daughter is never invited to spend an afternoon with them in their house). I said that I really wasn't feeling up to it today. My wife said that I wouldn't have to do anything to entertain them (to which I was skeptical about), so I agreed."

OP explained that his wife panders to her SIL, and he disapproves. There have been big fights over his wife's relationship with her SIL and how she chooses her over OP and their daughter. It seems to him that this invitation for a playdate was another one of these occasions. True to form, once the child was dropped off, OP's wife wanted him to tend to the two toddlers.

"So about 15 minutes after she arrives, I'm asked to get them drinks and snacks, and then play games and occupy them. Now, I'm aware that I'd have needed to do this for my own daughter — but going from 1 to 2 toddlers is such a huge leap in terms of the demand on your time and energy," he shared. "Add this to the fact that I was feeling lousy, and it just wasn't a good mix. I'm off work this week, and on top of my illness, I didn't sign up for extra childcare duties."

OP cared for the kids for about two hours before he'd had enough. He packed up his things and headed to his mother's house to get some rest. His wife was furious that he would leave her sick with two children. Now he's wondering if it was a jerk move or if he deserved some rest.

It seems pretty reasonable that if she offered to have the playdate that OP's wife would be the one in charge of the kids. Redditors immediately felt like that was the setup.

"I am going with NTA. There is no reason why your niece should be at your house while you are all recovering from the flu to begin with!" one person commented. "That was just so irresponsible of your wife. If she wants to have a toddler playdate while also getting over the flu, then that is on her."

Another person pointed out that it seemed like a scheme.

"Your SIL and wife disguised the situation as play date, when in reality she signed you up to babysit for her sister. Your wife knew that if she said... Hey my sister wants us to babysit for the day...you would've stepped your foot down and declined to do so."

"Honestly no, NTA you told your wife you were not feeling well, and she expected you to not only care for your own child but her sister's as well while she continued to do nothing," someone commented. "I would suggest sitting her down and talking about establishing boundaries, no proper parent would let their toddler go to someone else's house while most of the house is sick."

Another person agreed, writing, "She made that bed, now she gets to lie in it...and I'm glad you've found a much quieter place for a lie in in the meantime. She never should have invited the kid into a house with sick people in the first place, especially knowing you weren't up to it. Hope you get some rest dad."

"Who brings their kid for a play date to a house FULL of sick people," someone bluntly asked.

One Redditor offered some great advice about how OP should assert himself in the future.

"NTA. Text your wife, 'I gave you time to rest and heal, but you aren't giving me the time to do the same. I've also made it very clear to you that you often putting BLANK's needs ahead of my needs, and the needs of our daughter, and that needs to stop. What's more, you specifically told me if you had BLANK over today, I would not need to help and could relax, and yet caring for our daughter and BLANK is exactly what I spent the last two hours doing.'

"'It's a sad thing I have to leave my home to get sleep and rest while sick,'" the person continued. "'Stop texting and calling me and trying to guilt trip me. Take this time to reflect. Things need to change around our home. From this point forward, I will do nothing to help with BLANK until you start putting down reasonable boundaries. And I will not put myself last in our household."