What You Need To Know About Sharenting & a Child’s Right to Privacy

Meta, Instagram’s parent company, had even announced a plan to launch a platform exclusively for children younger than 13. The plan for the platform, called Instagram Kids, was quickly suspended because of immediately obvious concerns around the already known negative health effects of social media use and risks to children’s safety.

With that in mind, sharenting probably seems relatively better. Yes, they’re included and engaged with social media but through your account, in what feels like a far safer way. Unfortunately, the devil is in the details, and what feels like an innocent action — posting a photo of your child online — is much more complicated.

In the United States, for example, we learned only this month that a company called Clearview AI took billions and billions of photos posted to Facebook without the users' consent, which is entirely legal. Clearview AI then used those images to train its facial recognition software, which it then sold to law enforcement agencies across the country. Social media companies have introduced new privacy controls that they claim mean you are “in control.”

Still, photos you post on social media have to be stored on a server, which is controlled directly or indirectly by the social media company and invariably is at risk of being hacked. The reality closer to home, however, is that anyone who has access to your account can take a screenshot of any image you post. That screenshot can then be shared and is, of course, stored on that person's device. There is no true privacy in the digital world.

That means making the decision to give your child a digital identity is irreversible. The reason is that anything on the internet can be copied, duplicated, and replicated an infinite number of times in seconds. Photos can be stored on different servers in the cloud, on an individual computer, or on a USB stick. It’s not like the offline world where something exists in only one place, such as a photo in a frame.

In the online world, it can be everywhere all at once. This is particularly disturbing when considering how pedophiles find, save, and share images of children. It isn’t always explicit images that they’re searching for. In fact, a study in Australia found that about half of the images being circulated by a big, global pedophile ring had been found and downloaded by accessing parents’ social media accounts.

More from CafeMom: Experts Warn Against Posting Kids on Social Media Amid 'Wren Eleanor' Backlash on TikTok

Because the decision to give a child a digital footprint can’t be reversed, the impact of this choice is very different than other decisions parents make on behalf of their children, such as which school to attend or the time for a curfew. This issue even affects famous celebrities, as Gwyneth Paltrow learned all too well.

After the actress posted a photo of herself with daughter Apple on Instagram, Apple replied to the post noting that she had discussed with her mom the need to ask for her consent and that she disapproved of the image of her being put online.

It can be a learning opportunity for a child to wait until they’re old enough to understand the full implications of having a forever digital identity.

Fortunately, some effective alternative apps exist that will allow you to easily let grandparents, other family members, and friends keep up with your kids in a more secure way. Here are a few to consider:

• PhotoCircle: Available on both Apple and Android devices, PhotoCircle has all privacy settings on by default, so you don’t have to change anything to keep images secure. As the name suggests, the app allows you to create different “circles” based on activities and events (recitals, family holidays, etc.) and give different people access to each one. That means friends can see that family holiday, but just grandparents can have access to the recital.

• FamilyAlbum: Also available for Apple and Android devices, FamilyAlbum offers free unlimited storage and eight free photo prints per month. The app auto-organizes photos chronologically and even allows friends and family to like and comment on images, maintaining the engagement aspect of social media platforms. There is also a premium option that will let you upload all those old photos you have saved on the computer.

• 23snaps: Similarly downloadable on Apple and Android devices, 23snaps gets its name from the number of pairs of chromosomes that make up a human’s genetic code. The founder was inspired to create the app when his wife was pregnant. He didn’t want to share images of his newborn on social media. From that, 23snaps was born! The app allows for commenting and liking of photos by loved ones you’ve invited to see your photos and keeps your data totally secure from advertisers, unlike Facebook or Instagram.

The decision of whether to sharent on major, open social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok is, of course, a personal one. Hopefully, this will help you make an informed decision for you and your family.

Kyle Taylor is the author of new book The Little Black Book of Social Media ($18)