TikTok Debates Mom's Creative 'Punishment' for 5-Year-Old Who Won't Clean His Room
Aside from all the crazy dance trends and wacky viral videos, TikTok has become a place for parents to share everyday wins, clever life hacks, and funny and/or ridiculous stories from the parenting trenches. But one mom's recent TikTok is going viral for more than a few reasons this week, as parents debate whether the "punishment" she gave her 5-year-old went too far.
The video was originally shared on March 30 by TikTok user tabathamarie.
@tabathamarie I hated seeing the look on his face when he seen his room. It hurt me just as much but my babies will not be disrespectful ##parenting ##fyp ##foryoupage
♬ original sound - Tabatha Marie
"When you ask your child for two days in a row to clean his room — two days in a row — and his response is, 'No, you clean it, Mommy,'" Tabatha says in the clip.
As she speaks, she pans the camera around the space, which does show a pretty messy room that's littered with toys.
Needless to say, by the second time Tabatha had to ask her son to clean up, Momma was NOT happy.
And the tension is pretty palpable in her TikTok.
But instead of blowing her stack, she decided to comply with her son's demands.
Once she was done, the room was almost entirely empty.
But that was precisely the point she was hoping to make.
“Momma is not raising no disrespectful men," wrote Tabatha on one of the video’s captions. “It is not a ‘mommy’s’ job or a ‘woman’s’ job to do anything. You make the mess, clean it up."
"You see Momma struggling, help her," Tabatha continued. "Don’t sit there and let a woman struggle. Period. My babies will learn this quickly."
Some people applauded the mom for her tough love approach.
“Good job, Mom!” one person commented. “People that don’t agree also have the kids that don’t respect anyone, including their parents.”
“Good,” added another commenter. “Literally no parent ever follows through. Hope that teaches them.”
Another said that this is “how my kids will be raised” too.
“Save them and rewrap them for birthdays/holidays,” suggested one person.
But not everyone on TikTok saw it the same way.
One person called her punishment "Bad Parenting 101."
"Uhhh that’s a child, not a grown man,” someone else commented. “Honestly, this looks like neglect and bad parenting. You can’t expect a kid to come out having learned everything.”
“Based on his toys, I don’t think he’s old enough to have gender biases like you’re thinking, Mom?" another person questioned.
“My kid’s room looks like this sometimes,” another mom admitted. “I would never expect her to clean all of that by herself. Mentally, that’s overwhelming for a small child.”
“This mentality is so sad,” added someone else. “And I really feel for the children with parents like this. Just because your parent did it, doesn’t mean you continue the cycle.”
Others fell somewhere in the middle on this one.
Although many people agreed that teaching kids to clean up after themselves does need to happen — and that it's often tricky to teach — they argued that a 5-year-old can’t possibly be expected to do it all perfectly each and every time.
"If you want it clean, start by helping him and then work up to him doing it alone,” one person suggested.
“You could have just helped him and showed him how to,” another person advised. “Make it fun, put music on … this is not the answer.”
At least one person vividly remembered this happening as a child — and it didn't have the desired effect. “Coming from someone who had this happen multiple times as a child, you are just teaching them that it’s stuff and can be replaced,” the person wrote.
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