Valentine's Day Has Become More About My Kids Than My Husband
Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that definitely evolves as you go through life's different stages. There are four distinct phases that I’ve gone through so far. The first is when you’re a kid, the second is when you are single, the third is when you are married or have a steady partner, and the final stage is after you become a parent. I didn’t really expect the holiday feeling to shift so much after having kids, but looking back on my own childhood, I can’t say that I’m really all that surprised.
When I was a kid, as with kids now, I wanted to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Growing up in the '90s, it was a high priority to pick out the coolest paper valentines and give them to everyone in your class. There was a big thing about decorating your card box and having fun with it in school. My parents would also give us little Valentine’s Day cards and candies to remind us of how much we were loved.
More from CafeMom: What Parents Really Want for Valentine's Day
My school was different about Valentine’s Day.
My school did some strange things to commemorate the holiday. They had us fill our surveys only if we wanted to, and then it would match us with the opposite sex to see who we were most compatible with. It actually was kind of uncomfortable, and I can’t imagine my high school continuing this same tradition now.
Guys would go all out for their girlfriends in high school, too. They would have flowers or balloons delivered that she would need to carry around all day. The rest of the girls, myself included for a while, would feel pretty left out without presents.
Once I was dating my husband, we made Valentine’s Day into a big thing.
Our first year that we were dating, he surprised me at college when he came to visit. Then, after we were married, we would always go away for the weekend around Valentine’s Day and have a fun hotel weekend. We would go out to a fancy dinner and just spend a bit of time being tourists a couple of cities away. We looked forward to this every year, but when we had kids, it stopped.
More from CafeMom: My Husband & I Embrace the Cheesiness of Valentine's Day & Love Every Second of It
The last time we did this, I was seven months pregnant with our oldest.
It was still a ton of fun but not quite the same. We also made the most of it since we were about to become parents. Now, we’re lucky to schedule a date anywhere close to the holiday. We try, but it may end up being a few weeks after, which is OK really, because going out on Valentine’s Day is always a hectic night. The point is that we find it in there somewhere. Instead of an entire weekend away, we may get an hour.
Apart from the stray date night, which is awesome, don’t get me wrong, the rest of my holiday activities revolve on my kids.
They are the ones who are super excited about it now because it means making treats, decorating together, and presents for them. This year, I got them stuffed animals and special beads for making necklaces. I can’t help it. I love showering them in love and using the holiday as an excuse to do so. I’m also going to let them pick a special treat for us to bake together.
As long as we find time to connect, my husband and I don’t really care about Valentine’s Day anymore.
We’re not trying to impress anyone, and the thought of spending the entire weekend away from our young kids is more stressful than fun. Valentine’s Day has become a bit more about showing my kids love than my husband. They are simply more excited about it, which keeps me excited about it, too. It's hard not to get caught up in their enthusiasm, so I’m going to enjoy it for as long as this stage lasts before they decide they don’t care about it anymore.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
| FAMILY & PARENTING