Wife Refuses To End Family Tradition Excluding 1 Kid & Now It's Causing Body Image Issues

A Reddit user shared on March 17 that each April, his wife's family rents out a hall complete with catering and "the works" for a reunion. The main event, however, is a clothing swap between the women to distribute hand-me-downs between the nieces.

"All the women in my wife's family ended up being very short (4'10"-5'1"), so they all wear 'rare' but similar sizes, so it's always worked out," he explained. "With a 70/30 gender split and the only men in the family being myself, my brother in law, and my sons from a previous relationship, this swap meet is the MAIN event."

The dad explained the family tradition "would be a non-issue if it weren't for my daughter, Kate. She's my wife and I's 'ours' baby."

He continued: "Kate took after my side of the family. We're a taller family, or at least not Keebler Elves, so by the time she was 11, she started coming back with nothing from those parties. The first time, I assumed that she was just picky until I realized that she was starting to be bigger than her older sisters and cousins and had outgrown any size they would wear."

Although his wife said their daughter "needed to realize that not everything was for everyone and to just have fun being there," the dad noted that Kate started experiencing body image issues. "And now I'm thinking having this event is feeding it," he shared.

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Kate thinking she's "fat" and talking about dieting has prompted the dad to think the clothing swap at the family reunion should be nixed and done privately some other time.

"My wife thinks that's ridiculous and Kate is just having typical teenage problems that will go away on their own, but if she's so bothered, she can just not go or stay with the boys," he wrote. "I don't think that's right. This is mainly a girl's reunion!"

The OP concluded, "This event is starting to get mean and exclusionary, and it needs to end. I'm trying my best to make them see sense, and I'm getting nothing but arguments. Am I really in the wrong here?"

In the Reddit thread, most users agreed the father was definitely not the jerk for his concern over his daughter being excluded from the family tradition.

"NAH You are being protective of your child's feelings and that's very sweet, but your wife is also right that everyone needs to learn that not everything is for them," one person declared. "Nobody is in the wrong, it's just an unfortunate situation."

Another Reddit user commented, "Take her out shopping that day. Your wife will come home w/ “new” clothes, your daughter should get some new things also."

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Although they agree the OP is not being a jerk, they don't think ending the clothing swap is a good idea.

One person commented that he would be the a--hole if he tried to end the tradition. "First of all, it isn’t yours to end. This belongs to the women of your family," the person pointed out. "Your fatherhood, however, belongs to you. If your daughter doesn’t wish to attend, she shouldn’t be forced or compelled to against her own feelings – and as her dad, you are right to protect her from being made to participate or being made to feel bad about it."

Another Reddit user pointed out the benefit of continuing the swap for the other family members' sake. "As an average height person, [Kates]'s likely able to find more pieces of clothing that fit her properly 'off the rack' which is something that petite people struggle with once they reach adolescence."

Yet another person had this reasonable suggestion, "NTA, but I don’t think you should try to stop the tradition. The tradition needs to evolve. Ask the family if they can include accessories, or maybe add a new tradition of a secret Santa style event where everyone brings a specific person an item of clothing in their specific size."