15 Moms on the Dumbest Fight They've Ever Had With Their Partner
![Couple fighting](jpg/istock-1216554355741b.jpg)
Every couple has conflicts. There's basically no way to be in a long-term relationship and not disagree about something at some point. The truth is that sometimes conflicts are about deep and important topics, such as how to divide the household labor or managing the family finances. And sometimes the conflicts are about things that are deeply, truly stupid. We're talking things like someone cheating on us in a dream or whether tomatoes are a fruit – clearly important topics worth spending two hours bickering about!
The thing about dumb fights is that although they can lead to real tears and hurt feelings, they can also be the kind of thing we can laugh about with our partners later on. The truth is that sometimes the dumbest fights can lead to the best stories, so we're sharing some of our favorite dumb fights from real moms who somehow managed to stay married after these ridiculous arguments.
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The Shampoo Battle
"My husband and I once got into a brutal argument that lasted for days ... over shampoo. We had just moved in together and grocery shopping for the week when I put a bottle of shampoo in our basket. He huffed, put it back on the shelf, and snapped that he hated how forgetful I could be because we already had shampoo. I jokingly told him we were about to run out and maybe he'd know that if he had more hair. We nearly got into a screaming match at the supermarket over it."
The Sneeze
"I was working on a puzzle and was hunting for a hard-to-find piece. He came up behind me and sneezed really loudly and totally startled me. I hate being startled so began yelling at him 'YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND SNEEZING WHEN PEOPLE ARE DOING PUZZLES!!'
"He responded with 'I am human! Humans are allowed to sneeze!' I accused him of sneezing loud on purpose and then we were off to the races. It was two hours before I was back to work on my puzzle."
Dream Cheating
"Back when we were just dating, my now husband got really mad at me when I wouldn't say that I absolutely never, ever have sexy dreams about other men. My rationale was that I don't even remember most of my dreams, so maybe it happened. His rationale was that it was extremely hurtful to think of us cuddling together at night with me dreaming about someone else. I think the phrase 'dream cheater' was used and that still makes me laugh."
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Hypothetical Questions, Real Anger
"I'll own it: Most of our dumb fights are 100% my fault. A favorite one is that I'll ask him a hypothetical question then get p---ed at the answer. Like I asked him he'd still love me if I turned into a worm. He said he'd love me but 'obviously wouldn't be attracted to you if you were a worm, so I'd keep you as a pet' and I got so mad and accused him of only loving me if I'm hot. I blame my PMS hormones."
The Movie Fight
"My wife and I were leaving the gym and she asked me if I wanted to see a movie that weekend. I said 'Sure, what should we see?' This was a few years ago and I said 'Oh, I want to see In the Heights' and she said 'That's not in the theatres anymore' and I disagreed. Cue a several-hour fight that could have been solved if we'd just Googled it."
The White Fight
"We were in the midst of painting our living room and were running low on paint. I asked him to go back to the store and get one more gallon and said 'make sure you write down what color it is' and he said 'I don't need to, it's white.' Well, I replied 'There are a lot of different colors of white, so make sure you write it down,' and he got super annoyed and dug his heals in and claimed that 'White doesn't have shades. White is white!' and I totally lost it.
We ended up fighting for the rest of the day and I told him that if he brought home the wrong color of white paint, he was going to have to go live with his parents because 'clearly he wasn't raised right.' Home repairs are stressful."
The McDonald's Fight
"Our dumbest fight was whether or not you could get Mountain Dew at McDonald's. It was ridiculous. He asked why I didn't bring home Mt. Dew instead of Diet Coke and I was said 'because they don't sell that' and he INSISTED that they did and that he's gotten Mountain Dew there all the time. We ended up having to drive to McDonald's so I could prove to him that he was wrong. He was sulky the rest of the day."
The Zombie Apocalypse
"We got into a fight about whether it is would be better to escape to (and take over) a Costco or a Home Depot during a zombie apocalypse. I thought we were having a lighthearted debate, but he [got] super heated about how wrong I was and ended up saying that our kids would be 'zombie chow' because I chose to go for Costco instead of Home Depot. I burst into tears and we still can't really talk about zombie plans without getting prickly with each other."
The Backpack Fight
"My husband and I were driving down the street and saw a person with a backpack walking on the sidewalk. I don't even remember how it came up, but we had the stupidest argument about whether or not we thought the person was old enough or too old to be in high school. He got so heated that he turned the car around so we could try to find the guy and see his face and if he was walking in the direction of the high school. So stupid!"
Should TV Be Fun?
"We'd been watching Game of Thrones together and I told him I wanted to stop watching because it was getting too violent for me and 'wasn't fun to watch,' and it devolved quickly into a fight about whether TV was 'supposed to be fun' or if I was just being a quitter. He ended up watching the show alone and sleeping on the couch that night."
The Grocery Cart
"One time we argued about grocery carts. We went to the grocery store to buy like 5 things according to him. I said if we only needed 5 things we said we didn't need a cart or shopping basket. In the end we ended up buying more stuff because he decided he wanted snacks. Then he whined to me about the fact we did not get a cart.
"I snapped at him for whining, and we ended up bickering for 20 minutes in the ice cream aisle. Very embarrassing in hindsight."
Spite Sweeping
"We were cleaning the house before his mom came for a visit and I was stressed. I asked him to sweep the kitchen and than criticized him for doing it wrong. He snapped at me that he was trying to help, and I accused him of 'spite sweeping' and doing it poorly on purpose so I wouldn't ask him to do it again. It got worse from there, and by the time his mom arrive, we weren't speaking to each other."
The Tater Tot Divorce
"I was pregnant and had a Sonic craving so husband volunteered to pick some up. He said he wasn't hungry but he'd get me something. When he came home, I opened up the bag and there were only three tater tots. I asked him where the rest of the tots were and he said 'oO, they smelled good, so I ate a few on the way home' and I LOST MY MIND.
"I burst into tears and said he didn't care about me, that he didn't care if I was hungry, that he was selfish. He said 'But you still have a hamburger,' like that was the point. I wanted those tots! After an hour of fighting, when I may have threatened divorce, he ended up driving back to Sonic and getting me more tots, but I was mad for days afterward."
The Mayo Spoon
"I can fully admit that I was the crazy one here. My husband likes to use a spoon to put mayo on his sandwiches. I think he should use a knife. I told him that he should use a knife, and he replied that he's an adult and doesn't need advice about making a sandwich.
"I told him mayo on a spoon is gross (I don't know why but IT IS) and that he has to use a knife if I'm in the room. He said this was unreasonable and we got into a big old fight from there."
Size Matters
"We got in a big fight about whether Texas or Alaska is bigger. Maps were consulted, accusations were made that I wasn't specific enough about if I meant population or land mass, angry Googling was done. It was so dumb but also really about my husband's difficulty with ever admitting he's wrong."